Lies
by JaniB165
Summary: Is it possible to build up a relationship around lies? Especially when the ones they're lying to the most are themselves...
1. Gone

**6 years ago**

Killian followed his friend inside the house and into the living room, where he dropped his bag next to the sofa before letting himself fall onto the cushions.

"I'm sick of having to spend the better half of the day in this depressing building!" he declared.

David laughed and walked into the adjoining kitchen to get them some soda. "I'm well aware; you're complaining every day. It's just a few more years until graduation and then you can leave the school and this town behind you if you want."

"That day cannot come soon enough."

David returned and handed Killian his drink. "Let's get started with our homework. I want to be done with it."

Killian shook his head. "Later, I can't focus on anything school-related right now. How about we play some video game first?" Seeing how his friend was hesitating, Killian laughed. "Alright, alright, homework first. We wouldn't want to risk your perfect grades."

The two friends moved into the kitchen to get started with their tasks, as had become their habit during the five years since Killian's family had moved into a house down the street of where ten-year-old David and his family lived. Despite or maybe because of their differences they had become friends rather quickly.

Whereas David was the type of guy who was sticking to the rules, who was studying hard to receive good grades and who was appearing to be rather serious, Killian was carefree. He didn't mind bending the rules if necessary and he preferred cramming the information needed for a test the day before the exam. Since his grades were just as good as David's no one was complaining about that though. Well, except David occasionally.

After finishing their homework, they returned into the living room and settled in front of the TV to play some games. That's where David's little sister found them, when she finally arrived at home.

"You're late," David greeted her in a stern voice, pausing their game.

Emma shrugged. "I had practice."

"That ended over an hour ago."

She rolled her eyes. "I stayed longer because I wasn't happy with my performance in the competition last weekend."

While David considered her answer, she plunked down on Killian's other side.

"Weren't you supposed to cook dinner tonight? Mom will be home soon," Emma asked and looked at her big brother.

"Oh right!" David said and hurried to get into the kitchen and prepare their meal.

"I really don't get why you hang out with him," Emma remarked to Killian, who wordlessly held out the controller to her to take over her brother's game.

"Oh come on, he's not that bad," Killian defended his friend and chuckled.

"Try living with him," Emma replied dryly.

Killian glanced at her out of the corner of his eye and he didn't miss the frown on her face. It was something he had noticed quite often when he was spending time with both siblings. With twelve years she was three years younger than her brother and his friend and she seemed to feel the need to compete with David, their mother's 'perfect child', as she had remarked to Killian, when David once again had been at the top of his class. For some reason Killian couldn't see, Emma appeared to feel lacking. He knew that she didn't have many friends, because she didn't get along with kids her own age. She had even been kicked off both the soccer and basketball team by the age of nine, because she had declared her teammates idiots who shouldn't be allowed to play these games until they had learned not to trip over their own feet. Since then she seemed to have found her calling in track and field, where she could rely mostly on herself.

"Gotcha!" she called out and turned toward him with a bright smile.

Killian couldn't help but smile back at her despite having lost the game. Emma's smiles were rare, but to Killian they were all the more precious because of that. He intended to make her smile as often as possible.

 **Today**

Killian wasn't paying much attention to the movie playing. Instead his eyes were trained on the woman whose head was resting on his shoulders, her dark curls tickling his skin.

Sometimes he still found it hard to believe that Milah had agreed to that first date almost four months earlier and even harder to believe that she would repeat that experience after he was sure his nervousness had made him act like a total fool that first night. But here they were now and this beautiful, strong woman was snuggling even more into his side, her arm wrapped around his waist. It always felt just so right to be with her, as if it had been supposed to be that way from the very first time he had laid his eyes on her.

"You know it's kind of distracting when you stare at me like that, right?" she murmured, her eyes still fixed on the TV.

Killian chuckled and pressed his lips against the side of her head. "Just let me enjoy the view."

She sighed, but Killian noticed how the corners of her lips moved upwards.

When the movie was over, Killian was reluctant to move, knowing that it was probably time for him to go back home. He would have spent the night, but Milah had an important appointment early the next morning and insisted that she wouldn't get the sleep she needed if he was sharing the bed with her.

Finally she straightened up with a sigh. "I believe you should head home or this might turn into another almost sleepless night."

Killian grinned. "I still can't see what's wrong with that." He leaned closer to her and gently pressed his lips against hers. "But if the lady insists, I will take my leave."

Milah walked him to the door, where he kissed her goodnight.

"Let me know how the interview went. And maybe I can see you tomorrow evening?"

She smiled, her arms still wrapped around his neck. "Maybe."

Killian kissed her once more and then left the apartment to drive home.

He couldn't remember the last time he had felt this happy. During the past few years he had been through his fair share of bad times, the worst certainly being the passing of his mother. But it seemed like things were finally taking a turn for the better.

It was already quite late, when Killian arrived at home and he decided not to bother turning on the TV or spend another hour or two busying himself in his apartment. Instead he got ready for bed and was just about to head into his bedroom after brushing his teeth, when he heard someone knock on the door.

Thinking that it was probably one of his neighbors, he walked to the door and pulled it open without checking who was standing outside. Whatever words of greeting he had in mind for his visitor disappeared however, when he saw the blonde woman in front of him.

"Hey Killian," she said and nervously stroked a lock of her hair out of her face.

 **10 months ago**

The ringing of his phone tore him from his sleep. Killian groaned and turned around, not wanting to leave his bed and walk across the room to answer the call.

When the noise stopped a moment later he sighed and pulled the covers a little higher, determined to make use of every minute of sleep he could get before his alarm went off. But his plans were thwarted, when his phone started ringing again. Cursing he climbed out of bed and walked toward his phone, intent to tell whoever it was to go to hell after interrupting his already short enough night.

But part of that anger vanished when he read the familiar name of his caller.´

"Hey Dave, what's…"

"Have you heard from her?" David interrupted him, sounding alarmed.

"Heard from whom?" Killian asked back, although he already had a good guess. There was only one person who managed to make David sound that worried.

"Emma," his friend confirmed. "She's gone."

Killian tensed. "What?"

"She is gone! Some of her stuff is missing and no one has the slightest idea where she is or has seen her in the last two days. I was hoping…" David didn't finish the sentence and Killian could practically feel how uncomfortable he was.

"I haven't seen her since my last visit home," he answered honestly, feeling almost as uncomfortable as David likely was. That last stay with David's family had certainly left him more confused than he would like to admit.

There was a moment of silence during which neither of the two friends knew what to say.

Finally David cleared his throat. "Well, if she contacts you…"

"I'll let you know right away."

"Thanks, Killian."

"She'll come home soon, mate. You know her."

David laughed dryly. "So do you and you can't tell me you believe your own words."

He ended the call without another word, leaving Killian alone with his worries. Yeah, he did know her. And he likely knew more about her than her brother did in some regards.

Killian searched his contacts for her name and pressed the call icon. It went straight to voicemail.

"Where are you, Emma? Your brother just called and…" Killian paused and took a deep breath. "Just let me know that you're alright, love. Please." And without thinking about it he added: "I miss you."


	2. Friends

**Today**

Killian couldn't take his eyes off the woman who was now sitting on his sofa, sipping from the tea he had offered her. It had been about a year since he had last seen her and in these roughly twelve months she had changed quite a bit. Her long blonde hair had lost a bit of its shine and she looked paler than usual. Her clothing looked worn. And there just was something wary about her entire demeanor, something he wasn't familiar with when she was around him.

But the most noticeable change had to be the baby bump. He wasn't that good at estimating these kind of things but he thought that she had to be about five or six months along.

There were so many questions swirling around in his head that he didn't know which one to ask first and therefore remained silent.

"I'm sorry," Emma said quietly.

"For what?" he asked, his voice sounding rough.

"For leaving. For just showing up at your door and pulling you into my mess. For being a fool. Take your pick."

Killian leaned forward in the chair he was sitting on, his elbows resting on his knees. "What happened?"

"I trusted the wrong person and he left when he found something better," she answered bitterly.

Killian swallowed. "The guy I've seen you with the last time we…"

Emma blushed. "Yes."

"And he also is…" He couldn't finish the question. The idea that some random guy had impregnated her and then dumped her, was more than he could take.

She nodded.

For a moment they both remained quiet, Killian trying really hard to control his anger. Then Killian stood up. "I should tell David that you're here."

Emma tensed, something Killian didn't miss.

"Emma, he and your mom have been worried sick since you left. They need to know that you're alright."

"I know, but could you please wait until tomorrow? I don't think I can deal with David's judgmental tone tonight."

Killian looked at her for a long moment. Finally he nodded.

"Thank you."

"Don't mention it." He sighed. "Where are you staying?"

Emma looked down at her hands and Killian knew that her next words would be a lie. "I've got a place to crash. Don't worry about me."

"Where?" Killian asked her again.

"I've got a car that's parked just down the road."

He was just about to ask again where she intended to sleep, when he realized what she was saying. "No."

"Killian…"

"No! Did you really think I would let you spend the night in a damn car?"

"I'm used to it."

"That doesn't make it acceptable. You can sleep in my bed, I'll take the couch."

"Killian, I can't ask you to give up your bed for me."

"Good thing you're not asking then. And before you even dare to suggest it, let me be clear that there is no way I'd let you sleep on the couch."

They stared at each other for a long moment and Killian was almost sure that Emma would continue arguing. But then she offered him a shy smile.

"Thank you."

He returned the smile. "Anything for you, love." He turned toward the bedroom. "So, while I'm getting everything ready to ensure you have a comfortable night, how about a shower? Because, lass," he said and grinned. "I've got to say you reek as if you've spent several nights sleeping in a car and far away from any shower."

For a moment he thought that he had crossed a line, because she was just staring at him. But then she started laughing and he realized how much he had missed the sound of her laughter. To him it had always been one of the most beautiful sounds.

"Well, if you insist, I wouldn't mind to get cleaned up a little," she admitted.

"Alright then. The bathroom is over there. I'll go and get you some clean towels and some clothes, then we can burn the ones you're wearing now."

"Thanks, Killian." Emma got up from her seat and stepped toward him, kissing his cheek. "I've really missed my best friend."

He pulled her into a tight hug and kissed the side of her head. "So did I," he replied, a hint of sadness in his voice. Then he let go of her. "Now go and clean yourself up."

Emma walked toward the bathroom, while Killian turned toward his bedroom to gather a few things for her to dress in and, after handing them to her, to prepare the bed for his _friend_.

 **4 years ago**

He wished all those people would just leave.

He didn't even know who half of these people were, not that he actually cared. Not that he really cared about anything at all. Somewhere in his mind he wondered if he would ever care again.

Killian looked around the living room of the house he had lived the last seven years of his life and all he could feel was cold. All warmth had left the house when his mother had been taken from him just a week earlier. One moment everything had been fine, the next her heart had just stopped beating and no matter how hard he or the paramedics had tried to bring her back, she remained lifeless.

He was angry. Angry at the people who only seemed to have remembered his mother on the day of her funeral. Angry at his mother for dying without giving him the chance to say goodbye. Angry at himself for being so angry at his mother, even though it wasn't her fault that her heart had stopped beating.

Killian discovered David and Ruth talking to some of the guests, their faces showing the genuine grief they felt.

He couldn't take it anymore.

Killian headed toward the stairs to go up to his room to be as far away from the funeral guests as the house allowed. Once inside the room, he closed the door and sat down on the floor, his back against the bed. He was staring at the wall, not really seeing anything. He wasn't sure how much time had passed, when the door to his room was opened once again and he didn't have to look up to know who was joining him.

Emma sat down next to him, not saying a word. Instead she reached for his hand, their fingers entwined, and leaned her head against his shoulder. It was this silent show of support that finally allowed the tears he had been fighting all day to fall.

He turned toward Emma and she held him tight, while he cried over his loss.

When finally the last tears had dried, he gently pulled away from her.

"Are you ready to leave?" she asked him quietly. It had been decided a couple of days earlier that Killian would live with Emma's family until his graduation from High School.

"I think I want to spend one last night here."

She looked at him for a long moment. "Are you sure?"

Killian nodded.

"Ok, I'll just tell the others."

Emma got up and left his room to look for her mother and Killian moved onto his bed, suddenly feeling exhausted from this emotional day. He had just laid down, when the door to his room was opened again and Emma reappeared.

Without a word she took off her shoes and climbed into bed with him. When seeing his questioning look, she simply said: "You didn't think I would leave my best friend alone when he's miserable."

Dressed in all but their shoes, they lay down on the bed, facing each other. Again Emma reached for his hand, lacing their fingers.

"One last night?"

Killian nodded.

He hadn't expected to be able to sleep at all that night. But at some point sleep claimed him and offered him the first dreamless night since his mother's passing.

 **Today**

It wasn't yet six in the morning, when Killian decided to quit trying to sleep. Ever since saying goodnight to Emma he had been lying on the sofa, his eyes fixed upon the ceiling, his mind working overtime.

Killian still found it hard to believe that she really was back and he had to force himself not to get up and check if she was actually sleeping in his bed. Even harder to believe was that she was pregnant and he wondered what had happened between her and that bastard, whatever his name was. Had he left her after she had told him that she was pregnant? Or had he been gone already when she learned of her condition? Did he really want to know the answer? Because either way all he wanted to do was beating that bastard senseless for taking her away from her family – away from him – and then leaving her.

Killian lifted his head, when he heard footsteps in the bedroom.

When she emerged from the room, he couldn't help but notice once again just how beautiful she was. Especially with the tousled blonde curls and dressed in his clothes.

Every guy who was even considering leaving her, was an idiot in Killian's eyes.

"Morning," she mumbled, when she noticed that he was awake.

"Good morning, love," he answered with a smile. "I hope you slept well."

"Hmm," she only answered and Killian chuckled. Apparently even being away from home hadn't turned Emma into a morning person.

She disappeared into the bathroom and Killian sat up, deciding that he could just as well start making some breakfast. Emma joined him again, when he was just preparing some scrambled eggs for them.

"That smells great," she said and stepped closer to him.

Killian nodded in agreement, although for him it was the mix of his shower gel and shampoo and the scent that was uniquely Emma that put a smile on his face. Damn, how he had missed her…

When their food was ready, they sat down at the breakfast bar and dug into their meal.

"I think we should plan how much we're going to tell David and your mom on the phone," Killian said after swallowing a bite.

Emma looked at him worriedly. "I guess I should tell them of the pregnancy in person?"

"That would probably best," Killian agreed. "We could leave here around noon; that way David should be off work when we arrive and you can tell them both at the same time."

"You're coming with me?" Emma asked, sounding just a bit hopeful.

"If you want me to be there?"

She nodded. "But I don't want to keep you from anything."

"Don't worry about that." He would have to remember texting Milah that he wouldn't be able to see her that evening, but that should wait until after her interview. "Have you thought about whether you're going to stay with your mom? I'm just asking, because you should probably have a doctor check if everything is alright with you and the baby and if you already know where you're staying we could make an appointment before we leave." He wasn't sure but he figured that it was unlikely to get an appointment on short notice, so it would be better not to waste more time. And even though Emma seemed perfectly fine, it was better to be safe than sorry.

"I guess I'll have to," she said unhappily. "I'm not really able to afford my own apartment and my car is probably not the best place to stay. And I doubt I'll fit in there for much longer anyway."

For a moment Killian just looked at his plate, considering the idea that had begun forming in his head. He knew that returning home meant for her to be back with the family who loved her and had missed her during her absence. But it also meant feeling even more like an outsider. Ruth might be able to not show her disappointment that Emma had dropped out of school and was pregnant with just eighteen, but David probably wouldn't be. Not to mention that he was still being the 'perfect son', as Emma had dubbed him years ago. He was doing great in his classes and was still dating the same sweet and kind woman he had met in his first year in college. Killian didn't want Emma to fall back into the old habit of feeling like the failure of the family. And most of all he didn't want her to feel once again like running away is the best choice for her.

"You could stay here," he suggested calmly.

Her head spun in his direction. "What?"

"I mean, we would have to make some changes around here. Especially getting another bed, because that couch is fine for a night or two, but not for the long run. But if you want, you can stay here."

"Killian," she said, then biting her lip. "It's too much. I can't just have you change half your life, because you pity me."

"I would never pity you. You don't need pity, never did. You've always been stronger than me or your brother. But if I can do anything to make life a little easier, a little happier for you, then I will."

Emma looked at him and Killian thought he saw tears welling in her eyes. Then she said so quietly that he almost missed it: "Thank you."

"Nevermind, love." He sighed. "I guess it's time to tell your family that you're back."


	3. Together

**Today**

A few hours later they were sitting in his car, driving back to their hometown. Killian tried to keep his focus on the road, but he couldn't help but look at Emma from time to time, trying to find the courage to ask the question that was on his mind.

The conversation with Ruth earlier had been awkward enough, but he knew that it would only get worse once they arrived at her house and she and David learned about Emma's pregnancy and her intention to stay with him instead of returning to her childhood home.

Finally he cleared his throat and kept his eyes on the road while he asked: "What are you intending to tell them about the father?" After all, they would most certainly want to know who he was.

Emma tensed. "Nothing."

"Emma…" he started, but was interrupted, when she said: "They can't know anything of him."

"Why?" he asked.

"Because they would most likely get his family involved and I don't want that to happen." Emma turned in her seat to better face him. "Do you remember the guy you've caught me with the last time we both were home?"

Killian's jaw clenched and he gripped the steering wheel a little tighter, when he remembered the smug looking bastard. "Yeah."

"His name's Neal. He usually goes by his mother's maiden name Cassidy, but his actual name is Gold."

Killian's head spun toward her. "You're kidding?" The Gold family was the oldest and wealthiest family of their hometown and probably among the most influential families in the state. But rumor had it that their latest patriarch wasn't always acting on the legal side in his dealings. Not that it was possible to prove anything.

She shook her head. "No. But I guess you understand now why I don't want them to be involved. Either they'd claim that I'm lying and only trying to get their money. Or they'd try to prove that I'm unfit to be a mother and take my baby away. And I believe running away before finishing High School, not having a job and being only eighteen could work in their favor there."

"You know I wouldn't let that happen," Killian assured her.

Emma offered him a sad smile. "I know you'd try. But I don't want to take that chance. So please, don't tell Mom or David about Neal?"

Killian bit his lip, considering what would be best. But in the end he nodded. He had hardly ever been able to deny Emma anything. And how could he now, when he could understand her reasoning?

"Thank you," she answered quietly and returned to looking out of the window.

They drove the rest of the way in near silence, only the radio interrupting the quiet.

When they arrived at her mother's house, Killian parked the car and turned off the engine, before turning toward Emma. "Ready?"

She swallowed, but then nodded.

Killian left the car and hurried to help her out, offering her his hand to do so. They kept holding hands as they walked toward the front door, without actually realizing it. Before they reached it however, the door was pulled open and Ruth almost ran towards them, embracing her daughter who was still holding on to Killian. He was trying not to interrupt their moment and let his eyes wander until they landed on David, who was walking towards them.

"Oh my…" Ruth got out, when she finally pulled away, tears in her eyes that were directed toward Emma's belly. "Emma, honey, what…?"

Killian noticed the moment when David saw his little sister's baby bump, noticed how his fists clenched and his jaw tensed.

"Who?" he asked, anger in his voice.

Killian felt how Emma tightened her hold of him and he suggested: "Maybe we should go inside to have this conversation?"

"Of course," Ruth agreed quickly and ushered them toward the house.

Once they were inside and the front door was closed, David asked again: "Who's the father?" His arms were crossed in front of his chest and he looked at his sister sternly.

"Mate, your sister is back home and all you can focus on is that she's pregnant? You haven't even said hello…"

David turned his angry gaze toward him. "Excuse me that I'm not exactly happy to see my baby sister having been knocked up." He took a deep breath and returned his attention to Emma. "I am glad that you're back, but I would like to know what happened."

"It doesn't matter," Emma said quietly.

"I believe it does," David disagreed.

The two siblings were staring at each other and their mother, who had been so relieved just moments earlier, now looked worriedly from one of her children to the other.

That was when Killian heard himself say: "It's mine."

He had barely time to register Emma's wide-eyed stare as she spun her head toward him, her blonde locks flying, when he felt David's fist connect with his jaw, sending him to the floor.

 **2 years ago**

Killian parked his car in front of the familiar house and after turning off the engine, he hurried toward the door. He had barely knocked, when the door was pulled open and two arms were wrapped around him, the haste of the greeting causing him to laugh.

When Emma pulled back, she simply said: "You're late!"

Killian scratched the back of his head. "Sorry, love. I got caught up at work earlier and couldn't leave when I intended to. Forgive me?"

She seemed to consider it for a moment, before she said: "Of course. It's Christmas after all."

With a smile he placed his arm around her shoulders and they walked inside together.

It had been more than half a year since he was the last time in his hometown, more than six months since he had last visited the three most important people he had left in his life. Emma was the one he had missed the most, even though they were texting and talking on the phone every chance they got. But there was just something about being in her presence that made his life just a little bit better.

Killian spent the afternoon and evening with his second family, catching up on what they hadn't had the chance yet to talk about on the phone. He learned all about David's new girlfriend, about Ruth's plans to renovate her little restaurant in spring and about Emma's latest achievements in the school's sports program.

When it was time to go to bed, he returned to the room that had become his when he had moved into this house. It still looked pretty much the same as it had when he had moved out and somehow it warmed his heart, that Ruth hadn't returned it into its original state once he was gone.

Killian changed into some pajama pants and a t-shirt, before going into the bathroom across the hall to brush his teeth. Once he had returned to his room, he climbed into his bed to read a little before attempting to sleep. But he had barely finished one paragraph, when a quiet knock on the door interrupted him. He got up and opened the door, knowing exactly who would be standing outside.

Killian smiled, when he saw Emma in a similar outfit as his own, the comfortable looking pajama pants and the long-sleeved shirt embracing her slim figure nicely. "I thought your mother has decided that it was time for bed?"

She shrugged. "Since when has that ever stopped us?"

With a grin he made room for her to enter and she immediately got comfortable in his bed, where he joined her a moment later. He reached for his laptop next to his bed and started it.

"What are you in the mood for tonight?" he asked her.

"Something classic. How about _Breakfast at Tiffany's_?"

"Sounds good to me," he agreed and searched for the movie. Once it had started, Emma snuggled further into the covers and Killian turned off the light on his bedside table.

They watched the movie mostly in silence, only occasionally interrupting when one of their favorite moments came up. Time and time again, Killian glanced at Emma, whose head was now resting on his shoulder, and smiled when he saw her moving her lips along the lines that were being said. By the time the end credits were rolling, she was asleep though. Killian considered for a moment to wake her or to take her to her own bed, but he was reluctant to interrupt her slumber. So he only put the laptop aside and snuggled deeper into the covers, his arm wrapped around her middle and his nose buried in her hair. Unconsciously his fingers stroked along her side. His last conscious thought was that he could get used to falling asleep with Emma by his side.

When he woke up the next morning, they had changed their position, but apparently even while fast asleep, their bodies had searched each other's proximity. He was lying behind her, his arm once again wrapped around her waist. Her butt was gently pressed against his crotch and Killian couldn't deny his body's reaction to her. He only hoped that she wouldn't notice.

He moved away from her as far as the bed allowed and closed his eyes, trying to regain control over his body. Then he looked at her and smiled when he saw her tousled hair and the slightly parted lips. All of a sudden he had the urge to kiss her and he was shocked by his body's desires. Since when did he think of her in such a way?

Killian all but fell out of the bed in his hurry to bring a little more distance between them. He gathered some clothes and quickly left the room to take a shower. He took a little more time than usual, hoping to manage to control his thoughts. When he finally had finished his shower and was dried and dressed once again, he returned to his room and saw with relief that Emma had left, even though he could still feel her presence.

He joined the rest of the family at breakfast half an hour later, taking the only empty seat between Emma and her brother at the round kitchen table.

An hour later Emma and Ruth left to some grocery shopping, while the two young men were supposed to clean up the house. But the moment the car drove off, David turned to his friend.

"Why did my sister sneak out of your room this morning?"

Killian tried to act innocent. "What?"

David only shook his head. "Try again."

Killian sighed. "Look, mate, we both fell asleep after watching a movie late last night. Nothing else."

"You really expect me to believe that?"

"It's the bloody truth!"

"You know what else is the truth, _mate_?" David asked in a mocking tone. "Ever since you showed up here yesterday, the two of you have been flirting. Whether it had been through looks or smiles or banter. You two managed to bump into each other, to touch at every possible moment."

Killian opened his mouth to deny it, but somehow the words wouldn't come. It was true that he and Emma seemed to have been drawn to each other the day before and he could remember more than one occasion, when he had brushed her hair back or her hand stroked his arm. He hadn't realized it the day before, but now he couldn't convincingly say otherwise.

David sighed. "I know the two of you are friends and that's great. She needs friends. What she doesn't need, is a guy who makes her fall for him and who maybe manages to visit her once or twice a year, who cancels his visit at her birthday in the last minute because work gets in the way. She deserves better."

Killian nodded. "I know." He remembered the sad tone of her voice, when he had to tell her that he couldn't make it to her sixteenth birthday and he still hated himself a little for having to disappoint her.

"Just don't get her hopes up. She's sixteen, she should be dating someone her own age if she's got to date at all."

Killian tensed for a moment at the idea of some teenage boy dating Emma, but he forced himself to not do or say anything.

"With that settled, I guess we should start cleaning up," David said and turned toward the kitchen, leaving Killian alone in the living room with his thoughts.

 **Today**

Emma walked with him toward the bathroom to clean the cut at his lip that was the result of David's punch. They could hear Ruth talking sternly to her son, telling him to cool down and let them explain the situation.

Once he and Emma were inside the small bathroom on the first floor and the door was closed, she turned to him.

"What the hell have you been thinking?"

"Honest answer? I didn't think about what I was saying. The words were out before I could stop myself."

Emma closed her eyes.

Killian reached for her hands. "It's not the worst situation. Your brother now has someone to blame and most likely won't consider other alternatives. And if he wants to throw another punch or two, I can take it."

She looked at him, not letting go of his hands. "You shouldn't have to. It's my mess, not yours."

"Doesn't mean you have to do this on your own. I'm in this with you in whatever way you want. Just tell me if you want to go through with it. If not we can just tell them that I was trying to help David get some of the anger out of his system."

Emma kept her eyes on him, apparently searching for any hint that he wasn't sincere in his offer. Finally she nodded. "Ok."

Killian smiled and then flinched. He had almost forgotten about the still bleeding cut on his lip. "I guess I should clean myself up a little, before we return to your family."

"Of course," Emma agreed and helped him to wipe the blood away.

While making him look presentable once more, they laid out the basics of their story to make it sound just believable enough for the moment.

They returned into the living room a few minutes later, joining David and Ruth once again. At the sight of Killian, David's fist clenched once again and it wasn't difficult to see that he wanted to hit him another time.

The moment Emma had joined her mother on the sofa with Killian in an armchair nearby, David asked: "How?"

It was Emma who answered first, her cheeks turning pink. Whether it was from lying to her family or embarrassment Killian couldn't tell. "I really thought you'd know by now how babies are conceived."

It was David's turn to blush. "That's not what I meant." He looked at Killian. "You told me that you haven't seen her since your last visit here. You swore you'd let me know if you saw her. And if…" He gestured between the two of them, not able to put that idea into words. "… you didn't."

Killian scratched the back of his head. "We ran into each other about half a year ago and we spent some time talking at my place and, well…" He didn't want to say too much. He wasn't exactly up to talking about his sex life – fake or not – in front of his supposed lover's family. "She was gone the next day and I didn't see the sense in telling you about it considering the circumstances."

He glanced at Emma, who was watching her hands with more interest than required.

David looked from one to the other. "And what now?"

"Now we're dealing with the situation together," Killian said and looked at Emma with a warm smile. "There is no way I'd leave her alone with it."

Emma looked up and met his eyes a smile curving up the corners of her lips. "We've already set up a doctor's appointment to have a check-up and we've been discussing what changes we need to make in his apartment to make it fit for housing two instead of one, at least for a little longer."

David was staring at them, anger flaring up once again. "No! You're not…"

Finally Ruth spoke up. "So you're going to stay with Killian?"

Emma nodded and Killian could tell that she was nervous about her mother's reaction.

"Is there enough room for both of you and the baby? Or are you planning to move anytime soon?"

"We haven't decided yet," Killian spoke. "It's been quite a bit to discuss in such a short amount of time."

Ruth nodded her agreement. "Let me know how I can help. I know it might get tough with just your income, Killian, but I'll help support my baby girl and my grandchild in every way I can."

"Thanks, Mom," Emma said at the same moment when David exclaimed: "You can't be serious, Mom."

David went on: "Emma can't stay with him. She is hardly old or responsible enough to live on her own."

"She is eighteen. And she isn't going to be living on her own, but with one of the few people I'd trust with taking care of her and making sure that she's alright."

"Thanks, Ruth," Killian said.

"Don't thank me too soon. Because if it turns out that I was wrong trusting you with her, you'll wish it was David taking out his anger on you instead of me."

"I won't let you down," Killian assured her, once again looking at Emma, who was smiling at him timidly, her relief at receiving her mother's approval obvious.


	4. First Impressions

**Today**

Emma and Killian were sitting on the living room floor, furniture parts and tools spread around them as they tried to assemble the new bed they had bought on Saturday. It had been delivered earlier that day, while Killian had been at work at the garage and when he had returned home, Emma had already unpacked everything, making the living room look a mess. He had joined her without a comment and together they tried to follow the instructions.

"When will she be here?" Emma asked him nervously.

"In about an hour, I guess," Killian answered after checking the time on his phone. He looked at Emma and smiled gently. "No reason for you to be nervous. I've explained the situation to Milah and she just wants to meet you, considering that you two might run into each other occasionally."

He hadn't had the chance to see Milah again before Sunday and he and Emma had discussed beforehand whether or not they should tell her the same story as her family. When Killian had admitted that he wasn't feeling comfortable with lying to her, Emma had said that they should just be honest with her. Milah didn't know her family after all, so it was unlikely she'd reveal their lie to anyone who shouldn't know the truth.

But when it was time to face her and explain the situation to her, he had been nervous. Milah had listened to his words carefully and more composed than he would have expected. But once he was finished she had asked just one question: _Why?_

Killian wasn't sure if she meant why he was claiming to be the father of Emma's baby or why he was letting her stay with him when her family had been waiting for almost a year to have her back. But his answer for both would have been the same anyway and it was the same he had told Emma. Emma was his friend – his _best_ friend – and there was no way he'd let her deal with this situation alone. And claiming that it was his baby was at least stopping her family to ask more questions about who the actual father was. And while at least her mother accepted the situation and her brother would come around eventually, everyone else in the small town they were living would be judgmental about her situation, so it was for the best to allow her a fresh start.

He wasn't certain if Milah believed his explanation, but for the moment she accepted it and only asked to meet Emma. But he was feeling just as nervous about that encounter as Emma did, even though he tried to hide it.

They finished assembling the bed and got up from the floor, Killian holding out a helping hand to Emma.

The bed wasn't big, but Killian believed that it would be enough for him for the time being. He knew Emma would argue that she should be taking this bed since it was his place and his bedroom, but he wouldn't accept that. She should have a little more privacy.

"You know, I think we could hang a curtain up or get a room divider to separate it a little from the living room," he suggested.

"Maybe," she said and looked around for a clock.

Killian placed an arm around her shoulders and pulled her a little closer, kissing her temple. "Relax. She won't bite." Then he grinned. "But just to be sure I should go ahead and order the pizza I promised her. We don't want to risk anything."

Emma nudged his side, but he could see that she was finally smiling. "Do that, because I'm starving."

"And we can't have that, of course," he agreed and pulled his phone out of his pocket.

 **4 months ago**

Killian looked at the woman sitting across from him, who was searching the list of available songs for one to perform.

She had stumbled into his life about a week earlier, when she had shown up at the garage he was working at, because her car was making strange noises. Since his boss had been on his lunch break and his colleagues were busy, Killian had been the one to greet her and after listening to what the trouble with her car was and writing down her name and number, he had promised her that they would check it as soon as possible and that they would give her a call once they knew more. She had smiled and told him that she hoped to hear from him soon. After a short goodbye she had turned around to leave, the dark curls flying as she spun. He had caught himself staring after her a little longer than would have been necessary. It had taken until late the next day to check what was wrong with her car, but luckily the problem was easily enough fixed and he had called her soon after to tell her that she could pick up the car the next day. Once all details about payment were settled and she was just about to leave, Killian heard himself ask if she would like to go out with him. It had been a spur of the moment decision and when she took a moment longer to respond, he was already regretting it, feeling the warmth spreading on his cheeks. But then she had smiled once more and said _Sure_ , only requesting to be the one who chose where they went. They had exchanged numbers and she had left with the promise to contact him soon.

Now he took a sip from his drink, when Milah finally made her decision and with a grin went to get the song queued up.

Only two songs later he realized that she hadn't been looking for a song to sing herself, but for one he should perform, when he was asked to come on stage. Milah winked and clapped as he got up, wondering what he had gotten himself into. He was expecting the worst, some embarrassing song he would rather be caught dead than sing in public. But when the familiar tune of Queen's _Don't Stop Me Now_ began, he felt relieved and began singing, trying his best to do it justice while not humiliating himself completely.

When the song ended he received some applause and Milah was even standing, a huge smile on her pretty face.

"You're not playing fair," he said when he returned to their table.

"Never said I would," she replied, before she added: "Besides, you needed something to loosen up."

Killian stared at her and then shook his head with a smile. "I guess you're right. I've been a little nervous…"

She raised an eyebrow.

"Ok, extremely nervous about tonight."

Milah placed a hand on his arm. "Don't worry, I won't bite." Then she grinned mischievously. "Unless you ask me to, of course."

Killian laughed at her remark and from that moment on it became easier for them to enjoy their time together.

He walked her back to her apartment later that evening and to his surprise she kissed him goodnight.

Afterwards he took a taxi home, actually feeling happy for the first time in about half a year.

 **Today**

"Alright," Milah said, after finishing her slice of pizza. "I still don't fully understand why you can't just tell your family the truth, but I guess that's not my business since we only just met. But have you two talked about what you're going to do once the baby is born? Are you going to continue living together? And if so, are you going to move into a bigger apartment? And what about the birth certificate? Will it be Killian's name on it?"

Killian scratched the back of his head. "We've been talking about the living situation and we want to start looking for another place. As about the birth certificate…"

"We're not deciding that now," Emma interrupted him, turning to Milah. "I don't want him to feel obligated to go through with it until the end. He can change his mind at any point." She looked back at him. "You know I'm grateful for what you're doing, but I won't hold it against you if at some point you're saying that you don't want to stick to the story anymore."

Their eyes locked and Killian gently smiled at her. "Not going to happen."

She returned his smile.

Killian returned his gaze to Milah and realized that she was watching him and Emma with a thoughtful expression. He cleared his throat.

"Well, anyway… Emma and I have only just started discussing the details, but we did agree that we should keep it between the three of us."

Milah sighed. "I doubt I'll have any reason to talk about this situation to anyone, so ok, I won't tell."

"Thanks," Killian said and smiled at her.

"Thank you, Milah," Emma joined in, before getting up. "I'm going to leave you guys alone now. It was really nice meeting you," she finished and held out her hand.

Milah shook it. "It was nice meeting you, too," she replied with a smile.

Once Emma was inside the bedroom, the door closed behind her, Killian turned to Milah, but before he could say a word, his girlfriend spoke: "She seems like a sweet girl."

He frowned a little at her choice of words. "She's amazing. There had been times when she had been the only one I could talk to or just spend time with, because she understood me."

"Is that why you've offered to pretend being the father?"

Killian hesitated. "Maybe some small part of it."

He half-expected her to ask what the bigger part of motivation behind helping Emma was, but instead she merely said: "I guess I should go home now."

"So early?"

She smiled. "Yeah, I need to let all of this sink in. But I'll call you tomorrow."

"Ok," Killian said and then got up to accompany Milah to the door. There he kissed her goodnight, but he could tell that she was holding back. With one last smile she said goodbye and then turned away to leave.


	5. You - Always

**Today**

Emma turned around once again, trying to find a comfortable position to sleep in, something that was becoming increasingly difficult with every passing day. It didn't help either, that her baby had decided that her trying to sleep was the perfect time to start kicking stronger than she had ever felt before. Finally she sat up, deciding to get herself a glass of water.

She quietly left the bedroom and walked toward the kitchen sink, hoping that she wouldn't wake Killian. She filled a glass and then started walking back toward the bedroom, when she stubbed her toe on a counter. Before she could stop herself, a curse left her lips.

"Emma?" a sleepy voice asked.

"Sorry," she replied quietly. "I was just a little clumsy."

Even in the dark she could see that he was getting up. "Is everything alright?"

"Yes, I just couldn't sleep. He's doing his best to keep me awake."

Killian walked toward her, turning on a floor lamp on his way. "He?"

Emma blinked in the suddenly bright room. "I don't know… I think it's a boy, at least he enjoys kicking me as if my stomach is a freaking football."

"May I?" Killian asked. "I mean, if he's still kicking…"

With a smile she reached for his hand and placed it where she could feel the baby's movements. Killian's eyes grew wide when he felt the motion.

"That's…" He paused, struggling to find the right words.

Emma nodded, understanding what he meant even without saying it.

They sat down on the couch, neither feeling ready to go back to bed just then.

"Are you still coming with me tomorrow?" she asked. She finally had her doctor's appointment and the closer it got, the more nervous she felt. What if something was wrong with her baby? What if she wasn't taking good enough care of herself? She could have asked her mom to accompany her, but she had been scared that it would only increase her nervousness. Killian's presence usually helped calming her down.

"As long as you haven't changed your mind about that I'll be right by your side," he answered with a smile.

Emma felt her heart beat just a little bit faster when her eyes met his, reminding her of a time, when she hoped that he would see her as something more than just his friend. There had even been moments in the past, when she thought that maybe he did care about her the same way she did about him. Especially during that last Christmas holiday they spent together. But it was during that same time, when Killian had begun keeping a little more distance between them.

Since her return he had been the friend she knew and whom she had missed so much during her time away from home, but she was no fool. He was dating someone and he seemed to genuinely care about Milah; maybe he even loved her. And she was pregnant with another guy's baby, after running away from home with the first boy who told her he loved her. The same boy who had then left her alone far away from home with just a handful of cash and a stolen car. He hadn't even left a note to say goodbye…

"Emma?" She felt someone taking her hands and looked down. She had clenched them to fists, her nails digging into her palms. Gently Killian helped straighten her fingers. "What's wrong, love?"

"Nothing," she lied. Killian merely raised an eyebrow in a way to tell her that he didn't believe her. Emma sighed. "I was thinking about Neal."

There was a flash of anger in Killian's eyes. "If I ever see that bastard again, he'll regret what he's put you through."

Almost automatically Emma placed her hand on his cheek and felt how he leaned into her touch, closing his eyes. "He's not worth it," she said quietly.

Killian opened his eyes again and looked at her. "But you are. And if he's too blind to see that there's no way he'd find anyone more caring or loving… or a woman who is more beautiful…"

Emma felt herself blush. She was painfully aware that her hand was still cupping his cheek and that, if she only leaned a little closer, her lips would meet his. It was tempting, but in the end she dropped her hand. No matter what he had just said, there was no way that he would want her and she wouldn't risk making things awkward between them. Not when she finally had him back.

"I should go to bed," she said and slowly stood up. "And so should you. You've got to work soon."

"Right," he said and for a second she thought she saw hurt in his eyes.

"Goodnight." She turned toward the bedroom and walked away from him, before she did something stupid.

 **3 Years ago**

Emma sat down on his bed, watching as he was working at his desk.

"Mom said that you're intending to leave soon after graduation." She did her best to keep her tone only mildly interested.

Killian turned his head toward her. "Yeah, there isn't much holding me here." He must have seen the hurt on her face, because the next moment he abandoned his seat at the desk and joined her on the bed. "Except from you, Ruth and your stupid brother, of course. Emma, you know that I hate leaving you here, but I have to get out of this town."

"I could come with you," she whispered so quietly that she thought he didn't hear. But of course he did.

"If I thought there was any chance that would work and not get me into trouble with your mom, I would."

"So no chance at all then," Emma said dryly. She sighed and laid back. Killian mimicked her a moment later and for a long moment they both were just staring at the ceiling, not saying a word.

She turned her head toward him and watched his profile. He had let his hair grow out a little, almost right away adopting the habit of running his fingers through it every chance he got. His face was clean shaven, but she knew that he was toying with the idea of going with a less boyish look. Emma didn't first need to see him with a beard to know that it would only increase his already too handsome look.

"You know, I'm gonna miss having you in my bed pretty much half the time I'm at home."

Emma felt the warmth spread on her cheeks, when he turned his head toward her with a grin. "It's something I'm sure most guys in school are quite jealous of."

"Idiot," she said and punched his arm.

"Ow. But I mean it. I'm lucky to have you in my life. And not just because you're the most beautiful girl in school. I have no idea how I would have managed to get through the last year without you."

"I didn't do much," she murmured, meeting his blue eyes with her green ones.

"But you were there whenever I needed you."

For a second she thought – she hoped – that he would say something else. But then he closed his eyes and the moment was gone.

"I guess I should go back to work."

"And that's my cue to leave," Emma replied and sat up.

"You can stay if you want."

She shook her head. "You only want some distraction. But maybe we can go on a run later?"

Killian smiled at her. "Great idea."

Emma left his room and returned to her own, closing the door behind her. The moment she was alone she leaned her back against the door and closed her eyes, feeling the tears burn in the corners of her eyes.

It was silly. They would still see each other and keep in contact every chance they got, once he had moved. But the thought of not having him around all day, of not being able to stop by his room across the hall whenever she wanted to see him, hurt. And she was scared that once he had left, he would start a new life without her.

 **Today**

"You're making me nervous," Emma said and looked at Killian sitting next to her, whose fingers were drumming a rhythm on his leg.

"Sorry, love," he replied and smiled at her sheepishly. She couldn't help but smile back at him.

They were waiting in the examination room for the doctor. Killian had offered to wait outside for her, but she really didn't want to do this alone.

"You're doing great," she told him and reached for his hand.

He squeezed it. "Yeah, because I'm the one doing all the work here…"

She laughed and looked at him, their eyes focusing on each other.

When the doctor arrived shortly after, they were still holding hands, his thumb drawing circles on the back of hers. During the examination, she kept her eyes on Killian's face, only speaking when the doctor asked her a question. But Killian was watching the doctor closely, was watching every move of the other man's hands. There was something in the way he was looking at the other man that she couldn't quite identify.

The doctor insisted on doing an ultra-sound, considering that she hadn't been properly examined before during her pregnancy. The moment she heard the beating of the heart, her eyes were fixed on the screen that showed her baby and by the way Killian was squeezing her hand, she knew that he too had fully directed his attention toward it.

"Everything seems to be just the way it should be," the doctor remarked. "It looks like she's ready to put on a show for you."

She could feel the movements of her baby, but only mildly paid attention to it after hearing the doctor's words.

"She?"

"Unless I'm mistaken, yes, you're having a girl." Then he looked at her worriedly. "I hope you don't mind me telling you that."

Emma shook her head and she felt the tears in her eyes.

A girl.

She had been so sure that it would be a boy. A boy who looked exactly like his dad in her imagination. And while she would love him, and already did love him, he would be a constant reminder of a time she wasn't proud of whenever she looked at him.

But now…

"She'll be just as perfect as her mom," she heard Killian say and looked at him. He too had tears in his eyes, but smiled widely at her. Before she could say anything, he leaned toward her and kissed her temple. His lips were lingering on her skin just a little bit longer than necessary, but it was enough to make her heart skip a beat. "She'll be the most beautiful little girl, just like you have been when we were kids."

Before she could stop herself, her lips were pressed against his, her hand resting on his cheek. She felt the warmth on her cheeks when realization of what she had just done hit her and she slowly pulled back, not daring to look at Killian for a long moment. When she had finally gathered enough courage to look up, she saw that he was watching her with wide eyes, his fingers on his lips as if he couldn't believe what had just happened.

She barely heard what the doctor said before he left the room. She and Killian were alone, looking at each other but not saying a word. Finally he cleared his throat and murmured "I should let you get dressed", before leaving the room.

The moment she was alone, she closed her eyes, cursing herself. So much for not making things awkward between them…


	6. Decision

**Today**

"How is my daughter doing?" Ruth asked on her weekly phone call.

Killian glanced toward the bedroom where he knew Emma was taking a nap. "Exhausted. The baby didn't let her get much sleep last night, so she's trying to get some rest at the moment."

"My poor girl," Ruth remarked, her voice filled with warmth. "You're taking good care of her?"

"Always," he promised.

Even though he couldn't see her, he knew that Ruth was smiling. "How is the search for a new apartment going?"

Killian sighed. "We're still searching. We've got an appointment to look at another one tomorrow. Maybe that one will be it."

"I hope so. You still have quite a few things to prepare yet and it would help if you could at least cross that off your list." She paused. "I was thinking of coming to visit next weekend. We could go and get some shopping for my granddaughter done."

"Sounds like a good idea. I'll ask Emma later what she thinks about that, but I don't believe she has any other plans yet."

They talked a little longer until Ruth had to get back to work, leaving Killian once again alone with his thoughts. And as it had been for the entire last week they returned to Emma kissing him. If she hadn't completely taken him by surprise in that examination room, he probably wouldn't have simply let it end the way it had.

But now days had passed and they hadn't even mentioned it. Emma was acting like nothing had happened and Killian was beginning to believe that she was regretting it, that it had only happened because of the circumstances and because the moment overwhelmed her.

He went along with not talking about the kiss though, but he was far from regretting it. On the contrary, if Emma only gave him the tiniest sign that she wanted it, he'd kiss her again without any hesitation. Now that he knew what it felt like to kiss her, and not just the mere feeling of her lips pressed against his but the way it let him forget everything else and made his heart race, he wanted more.

And even though he had no idea what to do about that, considering Emma's behavior the last few days, he knew that there was something else he should do.

He heard the sound of Emma's footsteps and turned his head in her direction. "Are you feeling better?"

"Not much," she answered and sat down on the sofa as well, keeping some distance between them. Her hands moved toward her belly, gently stroking it. Since their visit to the doctor's they finally knew how far along she actually was and the idea that in about fourteen weeks she'd be able to hold her daughter was both terrifying and exciting. But Killian knew that Emma would be brilliant in her new role.

He didn't think about it, when he moved just a little bit closer to her and laid his arm around her shoulders. He gently pulled her toward him, until her head was resting on his shoulder and even though she seemed tense at first, she quickly relaxed.

"If you want me to stay at home with you tonight, you only have to say it," he offered quietly. "We could order some food and watch a movie."

He felt her shake her head. "You can't cancel your plans again because of me. Just go out and have some fun with your girlfriend, I can handle a few hours on my own."

Killian didn't answer right away. He didn't actually consider the conversation he was intending to have with Milah 'fun'.

Three hours later though he was on the way to her apartment, still trying to figure out how to say what he needed to say.

It just wouldn't be fair if he kept stringing her along, when he knew that they weren't destined to be together in the long run. When he knew that he was in love with someone else.

He parked further away from her apartment than necessary, grateful for the extra time it bought him until he had to face her, but finally he reached the front door and just a moment later he was upstairs, entering her apartment. He greeted her with a kiss on the cheek instead of the usual kiss on the lips and then walked with her into her living room to sit on her couch.

"Milah," he started, but then didn't know how to continue. He scratched the back of his head, struggling to find the right words.

When he looked at her, he was surprised to see her smiling. "It's about time."

"What?"

"You're finally coming to your senses and realizing that you don't want to be in a relationship with me any longer."

"I'm sorry." Killian swallowed. "How did you know?"

"Killian, one would have to be deprived of all senses to not notice that you're in love with Emma. And I guess even then they'd notice it sooner than the two of you."

He chuckled nervously. "That bad?"

Milah laughed. "Well, I've only seen the two of you together twice, but it was enough to notice that you only have eyes for her when she's around. It wasn't exactly flattering for me, I admit that. But I really do like you and want you to be happy. And I'm not the one who will make you happy. At least not when your heart's already taken."

"I'm sorry, Milah," he repeated. But then he wondered: "Why didn't you say anything?"

She looked at him with a grin. "One, we've barely seen each other since Emma has moved in with you and this isn't a conversation to be had on the phone. And two, I was really wondering how long it would take you to figure it out on your own." She gently nudged his shoulder. "But don't worry, if you hadn't come to your senses by now I would have given you the push in the right direction pretty soon."

They talked a little longer, their conversation quickly turning into a relaxed exchange now that Killian didn't feel as tense as he had felt when he had first arrived. Now that he was no longer dating anyone, he could only blame himself if he didn't at least try to be with Emma.

He only hoped that she did care for him the same way.

It was still quite early when he returned home and he found Emma in the bedroom, reading. For a moment he only watched her. Her hair was up in a loose bun, some strands framing her face and she was wearing a usually loose fitting t-shirt that was stretching just a little bit over her belly. He couldn't help but smile at the sight of her.

"You're home early," Emma greeted him, when she noticed his presence. She marked her spot and lay the book aside.

Killian walked over to her and after kicking off his shoes joined her in bed, though staying above the covers. "I didn't feel like being gone for too long," he lied.

Emma looked at him questioningly and he knew that she didn't truly believe him. But luckily she didn't ask more.

"What have you been reading?"

With a grin she held up his worn copy of _Peter Pan_ and Killian laughed. They both had read the story so many times that they could recite almost every line and Killian remembered times when they had spent entire afternoons or evenings reading passages over and over again.

"Want to join?" she asked.

"What kind of question is that?" he replied, taking the book from her. They both got into more comfortable positions.

Killian started reading aloud, Emma sometimes speaking along to some of her favorite passages. It didn't take long until her head was resting on his shoulder and it was costing Killian quite a bit of effort to continue reading and not be distracted by her being so close. He couldn't stop himself from laying his arm around her shoulders though to keep her near.

After some time Emma remained quiet and a little later Killian put the book aside when her even breathing indicated that Emma was asleep.

For just a moment he considered to slip out of bed, but he couldn't bring himself to leave, telling himself that he didn't want to risk waking her.

With his free hand he stroked a lock of her hair out of her face and then leaned toward her and kissed her temple.

"Goodnight, love," he said quietly before reaching over to turn off the light on the bedside table and trying to get comfortable enough in his position to sleep.

When he woke up the next morning, he was alone in bed.

Killian got up and left the bedroom to find Emma sitting on the sofa in the living room, her attention focused on his old laptop.

"Morning," he said, when he approached her.

"Hey, I hope you slept well?"

Killian smiled at her. "Best night's sleep I've had in a long time."

Emma only rolled her eyes in response.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm just looking at the photos of the apartment again. I really hope these are more accurate than the ones of the last place."

Killian leaned over the back of the sofa and looked at the screen. The apartment they were visiting today was the most promising one they had found so far and it had been obvious by her immediate reaction, that Emma liked it a lot. If the reality was even close to the photos, they might have found their new home.

"I'm sure this time we'll be lucky," he told her and turned his head to kiss the top of hers. He just couldn't stop himself from being close to her, from showing his affection. Then he straightened up again. "I'll just go and take a quick shower. How long until we're supposed to be there?"

"About two hours."

"Great, that gives us enough time for a quick breakfast as well. I'll be right back."

They left about an hour later and Killian could tell how nervous Emma was about seeing the apartment she had been looking forward to so much. Without thinking about it, he reached over to her with his right hand, taking her left in his, while keeping his eyes on the street, even though he knew she was watching him.

The apartment turned out to be holding up to the promising pictures they had seen and a quick glance at Emma told him that she wasn't disappointed. It wasn't much bigger than their current place, but the layout allowed to better accommodate three people. He took over the talking, letting Emma wander through the rooms and make up her mind if this was going to be their new home.

After finishing the tour he joined Emma in what was supposed to be the nursery. He stepped beside her as she was looking out of the window, her hands gently stroking her rounded belly.

"I think she likes it," Emma said quietly. "She's practically celebrating in there."

Killian laughed. "And what about you?" he asked, unable to take his eyes off her.

She turned toward him and smiled, giving him all the answer he needed.

"I guess we should take care of the paperwork then and with a little luck, we'll soon have a new home," he suggested, before reaching for her hand.


	7. No More Regrets

**9 Months ago**

Killian's fingers were drumming impatiently on the coffee table, while he waited for Ruth to answer her phone.

It had been over a month since David's call to inform him that Emma had left home and they still weren't one step closer to finding her. They were now almost certain that she had gotten rid of her phone somewhere, meaning that all messages he had left her had been left unheard.

But he missed her. More with every passing day. He hadn't realized, even when they didn't have contact on a daily basis, how much he relied on being able to call or text her, when he needed to talk. No, not just when he needed to _talk_. When he needed _her_.

Emma was his best friend and sometimes he thought that she could have been more, if they only had giving themselves that chance.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Ruth. It's Killian…"

"Did she contact you?" she interrupted him and Killian wished that she didn't sound so hopeful.

"I'm sorry, Ruth."

"Oh…" There was a moment of silence between them. Then she spoke again. "You wanted to ask the same question, right?"

"Yes," Killian answered quietly. "I hoped that she…" He didn't finish the sentence.

"I know, my boy. I want her to come home, too." Again they remained quiet for a moment. "How are you holding up? I know it must be difficult for you. You and Emma have always been so close."

He laughed dryly. "You're her mom and you ask me how I'm dealing with it?" Then he sighed. "I miss her. I miss seeing her, talking to her. It's like a part of me is gone."

He shut his mouth, unable to believe that he had said that out loud.

"She will come back, Killian. And when she does, you'll let me know, ok?"

"Of course."

"I would promise the same, but I believe we both know that she'll need some encouragement from you to come back here," Ruth told him and he could hear the smile in her voice.

"She doesn't need any encouragement from me. You know she loves you and David," Killian started to argue.

"Of course she does. But she doesn't open up to us the way she does to you. And she might think that we're angry that she has left." There was a short pause before she added: "I only want my little girl back."

"I know, Ruth. And she'll come home to us. We just have to be patient. You know how stubborn she can be."

"Oh I know, she got that from her dad."

"If you say so," Killian replied with a grin. He had spent enough time with the Nolan family to know that Emma and her mom were alike in quite a few things.

"When are you going to visit us again? I miss having both my boys at home."

Killian hesitated. "I'm not sure. We're quite busy at work at the moment and I'm working most weekends too." It was only half a lie. They actually had a lot of work. But mostly he didn't want to go back to a home where he would feel Emma's absence even more.

"Maybe another time then," Ruth answered and Killian knew that she understood why he didn't want to visit.

"Definitely," he promised.

They chatted a little more, Ruth reminding him that he shouldn't solely focus on his job but find some time to meet friends and have fun.

After they had ended the call, Killian leaned back on his sofa, closing his eyes. He remembered once again the last time he had seen Emma, their awkward goodbye a day after he had accidentally walked in on her and some guy he hadn't seen or heard of before in the living room.

In that short moment, before Emma had pushed her boyfriend or whatever kind of relationship she had with him away from her, Killian had noticed the familiar way the guy's hands moved over her body and he had wanted to pull him away from her, wanted to punch him, hurt him for daring to even lay his eyes on her let alone his hands. While he was trying to control his sudden anger, Emma had gently pushed her boyfriend toward the front door to say goodbye, but not before that bastard could grin at Killian smugly.

When she had returned to him, she had wrapped her arms around herself, but looked at him defiantly.

"I didn't know you had a boyfriend," Killian had said, trying to control his voice.

"We're keeping it quiet. Mom and David don't know either."

"Don't worry, I won't tell them. But if that boy you're dating does want to keep your relationship a secret, he's an idiot." Not that there was any way to convince Killian that her boyfriend deserved her.

"You don't know him," Emma had argued.

"I don't have to. Anyone who only meets you in secrecy, who doesn't want to properly court you and who wants be kept hidden from the people who care about you most… He's not worthy being with you. You deserve so much better than that!" He hadn't even realized that the volume of his voice had increased toward the end.

"And what would that be?" Emma had asked and taken a step toward him. "Because last time I checked, guys weren't exactly lining up to date me." She had taken another step in his direction. "And then I meet one boy who actually treats me nice and who cares about me and the moment you find out, you're acting like a total jerk." She had been standing right in front of him by the time she finished speaking. "Why?"

Killian had looked at her, trying to come up with an answer to her question. But when his eyes had met hers, all he had wanted was to lean down and kiss her. He had known that this would be a bad idea though. So instead he had taken a step away from her and lied: "I just didn't like that you were keeping it a secret. We never kept things from each other."

Emma had raised her eyebrows as if to say that she didn't believe him, but Killian had just walked upstairs and into his room, deciding to avoid her presence for the remainder of his stay as much as possible.

During their goodbye they had hugged, but it hadn't felt the way it usually did. Something had been off and when he had looked at her, he had known that she felt it too.

Killian opened his eyes.

If he had known that that weekend would be the last time he'd see her, he definitely wouldn't have held back when all his instincts had told him to kiss her.

But with her gone, all he could do now was regret that he had been too scared to cross that line with her, because he was now almost certain that he hadn't been the only one struggling back in that living room.

 **Today**

He heard Emma and her mother chat, while he prepared some tea. The two women had spent part of the day shopping, quite successfully if Killian had to guess by the number of bags they carried home. But Emma had gotten tired in the early afternoon, causing them to return earlier than planned.

Killian looked over his shoulder toward them and smiled, when he saw Emma resting her head on her mother's shoulder, Ruth gently stroking her arm.

He carried the mugs over to them and placed them on the coffee table, before sitting down himself.

"How are the moving plans coming along?" Ruth asked.

Killian took a sip of his tea. "We signed the lease two days ago. We hope to have packed everything up by next weekend. I was planning to ask a few co-workers to help bringing everything into the new place."

"I'm sure if you asked him, David would be willing to help as well."

Killian chuckled. "I don't consider being punched in the face as help."

Ruth laughed. "I think he can control himself enough to wait with the punching until everything else is done." She lifted her mug to her lips. When she lowered it again, she looked from Killian to Emma, whose eyes were half-closed. "I believe I should head back home soon, leave you two alone."

"You could stay a little longer," Emma said, followed by a yawn.

Ruth smiled gently at her daughter. "I'll try to make time next weekend to help with your move, but now you should rest a little. I know how exhausting shopping can be and you've never been a fan of it anyway."

Killian saw Emma smiling. "It wasn't that bad today."

"I'm glad you think so." Ruth sighed. "But I should drive home now anyway."

Emma straightened up, when Ruth moved to stand, but when she wanted to stand up as well, her mother placed a hand on her shoulder.

"No need for you to walk me to the door."

Killian got up. "I'll walk your mother to her car, don't worry about that," he told Emma with a smile.

The two women said goodbye and Killian accompanied Ruth outside.

When he returned, Emma had already carried the mugs back into the little kitchen and was just getting comfortable on the sofa again.

"Don't you want to take a nap?" he suggested and walked toward her.

"Not really. I think I'm gonna watch a movie and maybe go to bed a little earlier than usually."

"Mind if I join you?" he asked, gesturing toward the sofa.

"Not at all," Emma replied with a smile, moving a little to let him sit with her.

Killian sat down and, without thinking about it, laid his arm around her shoulders. Emma leaned against him only a moment later, starting the movie. For a few minutes they were quiet, both focusing on the TV, while he absentmindedly toyed with her hair.

"You know, I could get used to this," he admitted.

Emma turned a little to look at him. " _Could_? I was beginning to think that you already are used to spending your afternoons and evenings with me. We've been doing this all week after all. Don't you want to spend some time with your girlfriend?" She looked away from him at the TV again. "I'm fine with being alone every now and then."

"Do you want to get rid of me?" Killian asked, only half teasingly. Maybe she was already tired of him spending so much time with her?

"Of course not," she answered quietly. "I was just wondering what Milah thinks about you hanging out with me so much. I don't want to stand between the two of you."

"Don't worry about that, love. I promise you that everything's fine." He sighed. "Milah and I broke up, when I visited her last weekend."

Emma turned in her seat, staring at him, the movie forgotten. "What? Why would you do that?"

"I think we both realized that it wouldn't work out between us." Killian met her gaze, trying to figure out whether or not he should tell her more about his conversation with Milah. If he really wanted to know whether or not she had feelings for him as well, that went beyond friendship, he probably should finally gather enough courage to tell her what he felt. He swallowed. "You know… I've been pretty much in love with the same woman for years. We've been friends – best friends – for so long that I can't even remember a time when she hasn't been part of my life. When I finally realized that my feelings might go beyond mere friendship, I screwed up, pushing her away because I didn't want to risk what we had. It didn't help, but only made things awkward between us. We lost contact for a while and when I met Milah I thought I was ready to move on." He paused, lifting a hand to tuck a lock of her hair behind her ear. "I was wrong. You have no idea how happy I was when you stood in front of my door that evening. I tried to justify that with having my best friend back, but it's more than that. It has been for a long time. That's why it couldn't have worked out with Milah. She's not you."

Emma was still just looking at him and it was obvious that she was struggling to find the words to express whatever kind of reply she wanted to give him.

The longer she remained quiet however, the more nervous he became. What if he had just done something their friendship couldn't recover from?

But just when he decided to say something – anything – to break the silence, she surprised him once again, when her lips found his. It only took him a moment to respond, his hand cupping her cheek, fingers digging into her hair. He felt her hands stroking over his chest, moving up toward his neck.

Emma pulled away first, smiling at him timidly while her cheeks were an adorable shade of pink. "Sorry," she started, biting her bottom lip. "I'm not that good with words." Her fingers were still brushing through the hair at the nape of his neck.

Killian chuckled. "Did you hear me complain?" He kissed her once more. "But just to clarify…" His lips met hers again.

"I love you," she said and Killian felt like his smile couldn't be any bigger.


	8. Fresh Start

**Today**

It was still dark outside when Emma woke up earlier than intended, but she couldn't keep the smile off her face, when she felt Killian's arm still lightly wrapped around her waist. It was still so new and at the same time so familiar to wake up with him beside her. After all, they had slept in the same bed before, but it had never been like that. _They_ had never been like that.

Before this last week, they had only once intentionally shared the bed during the night and the surrounding circumstances could hardly be called romantic, since it had been after his mother's funeral. The other times they had simply fallen asleep in either his or her bed after watching a movie or reading together.

This was different however and they were both still trying to figure out how to deal with this new situation.

Her hand found his and rested on top of it. The first night, they had agreed that they should take things slow and would spend the night separately. That arrangement had lasted for maybe an hour, then she had crawled into the smaller bed with him and even though it would have been more comfortable if they had just moved into the bedroom together, she found it difficult to remember the last time she had such a restful night. The following nights they had spent together in the bedroom.

Emma wanted nothing more than to stay in bed with Killian just a little longer, but her daughter had decided that her bladder was the most comfortable resting place. She slowly climbed out of bed, careful not to wake Killian, and went to the bathroom.

After, she shortly considered going back to bed, but she decided it would be best to get an early start to the day. David and the others would arrive soon enough to help with their move to the new apartment and they still had a few things to pack. She was looking forward to start her new life with Killian in their home. Not his, but _theirs_.

A couple of months earlier she had been terrified of changes in her life, when she discovered that she was pregnant. Neal had left weeks earlier, leaving her alone halfway across the country with almost no money, and for longer than she liked to admit, she had ignored the signs. She couldn't have a baby, she was in no way fit to be a mother. She had only just proven that she wasn't responsible or mature enough to care for a child, when she had quit school and left her family to run away with a boy she, as it turned out, didn't really know after all. She had tried to handle the situation on her own, both too stubborn and too scared to seek the help of her family. She didn't want to see the judgmental look on David's face or the disappointment of her mother. She had pushed the thought of asking Killian for help to the back of her mind, not wanting to admit to him how wrong she had been about Neal.

Weeks had passed and she found it more and more difficult to handle the situation on her own, until she finally admitted to herself, that she needed help. She needed her family. And she needed her friend.

Killian had been the one she had missed the most, even before Neal left. She had tried to convince herself that she was happy with Neal, but part of her knew that it didn't feel right.

It was different now.

She and Killian had always been close. They had never been afraid of physical contact, whether it was a hug or a shoulder to lean on. But during the past two weeks he had become even more affectionate, even though she only understood what had caused the change after he had told her about his break-up. When he admitted that for him she was more than his friend.

Emma still couldn't keep the smile off her face, when she recalled how unsure he seemed after he said those words. As if there was any way she would reject him, when he told her that he actually did want her. Despite leaving and despite carrying another man's child. She hadn't dared hoping for such a turn of events, not when he seemed happy with his girlfriend. She would have managed to just continue being his friend, no matter what she felt for him.

But Emma was glad that she didn't have to anymore. What they had now was so much better.

"You should be in bed," a sleepy voice told her and Emma turned her head to see Killian approach. A smile tugged at her lips, when she saw the mussed hair and how he rubbed his eyes.

"I couldn't sleep anymore, so I thought I should do something useful and continue packing."

He sat on the floor with her, his hand gently stroking over her belly. "Has she decided to have a party in there again?"

Emma placed her hand on top of his. "Not this time. But apparently my bladder is the perfect bed."

Killian laughed. "At least we know she's feeling comfortable."

She looked down to where their hands were resting on her stomach. "I think we'll need an alternative to calling her _she_ soon. I mean, she is a little person already, she should have a name."

"I believe you're right. Any ideas yet?"

Emma shook her head and looked at him. "It's tough. She'll have to live with it for the rest of her life. I want it to be perfect."

Killian smiled. "I'm sure it will be." He leaned closer and kissed her cheek. "How about I'll go and make breakfast before we finish packing?"

It was almost two hours later, when the doorbell rang, announcing the arrival of their helpers for the day. David and Mary Margaret were the first to arrive and although Emma had been nervous about her brother's behavior toward Killian, she knew that he would behave while his girlfriend was around.

"Oh Emma, it's so good to see you," Mary Margaret greeted her and, to Emma's surprise, pulled her into a tight hug. She looked to Killian for help, but he only shrugged. Emma finally settled on awkwardly patting the other woman's back.

"It's nice to see you, too."

The moment Mary Margaret let go of her, Emma saw her gaze shift to her stomach. "I can't believe… I mean, of course David and Ruth had told me, but…" Mary Margaret looked at her with a wide smile. "I'm so happy for you, Emma. And for you, of course," she added with a glance toward Killian, who had moved closer and was now standing right behind Emma, his hand resting on her hip.

David noticed that little gesture and frowned, but neither she nor Killian cared. Mary Margaret only shot him a look, making clear that she wanted him to behave. "Maybe we should get started," he suggested. "Get this over with as fast as possible."

None of them disagreed and they started moving about the apartment, packing the last few items and disassembling furniture. Once Killian's colleague arrived with his truck, everyone but Emma started carrying items downstairs. It wasn't that she didn't want to help, but whenever she even tried to lift anything, one of the others took the item from her, Mary Margaret being the one who told her that they could handle things and that she could best take a look around to make sure they didn't forget anything.

Moving things into the new apartment, painting the walls and reassembling the furniture in their new home took the better part of the day and it was already getting dark outside, when they finally settled in the new living room after ordering some pizza.

Emma and Killian settled onto the sofa and she leaned into his side, enjoying the feeling of his arm lying around her shoulders. She barely listened to the conversation going on around her and ignored the glances David shot their way.

He had managed to hold back any remarks about her and Killian throughout the day, but she hadn't missed the many unhappy looks he had cast their way.

Well, maybe they hadn't made it any easier for her brother, when she and Killian had taken any chance they got for a smile, a quiet exchange of words or a short kiss. But while David seemed annoyed by their show of affection, Mary Margaret appeared to be happy for them. It was weird, because even though David and she had been dating for over two years now, she and Emma hadn't spent much time together, even before she had left. But as long as it meant that David wasn't acting like a jerk, Emma was more than willing to accept Mary Margaret's support.

And Emma had to admit that she did like the dark haired woman. They had gotten the chance to talk earlier, while the men were working in the living room and they were busy organizing in the bedroom. They had talked a little about Mary Margaret's plans for time after college, about her family and about David until Mary Margaret couldn't hold back her curiosity any longer.

"What is it like? Being pregnant, I mean. You seem so calm about it..."

"Only on the outside," Emma had admitted. "It's terrifying and getting more and more uncomfortable the closer you get towards the end. But it's also absolutely wonderful and amazing to feel that there's someone growing inside you." She had looked at the other woman. "Are you and David planning…?"

"Oh no. We're not there yet. We did talk about the general idea, but we decided that it's still too early for us. We're still so young." Mary Margaret's eyes had widened. "That's not to say that you should generally be older to have kids, it's just not the right time for us… I'm starting to ramble, aren't I?"

Emma had laughed. "A little bit. But don't worry. I can't say that any of this was planned."

"But at least you and Killian seem to be quite happy about how things turned out."

"I can't speak for him," Emma had answered with a smile. "But I _am_ happy."

Mary Margaret had returned her smile. "Considering that Killian had hardly managed to keep his hands off you or the smile off his face whenever you were close, I believe it's the same for him. It's driving David crazy, but at the same time, I think, he's glad that it's Killian you're dating and not some guy he doesn't know. It saves him the whole protective big brother speech."

"Oh come on! He loves his speeches. I'm sure Killian will at least get the shortened version of it."

Mary Margaret had laughed. "Ok, you're probably right about that."

"Emma?" she heard someone say, followed by a gentle shake of her shoulder.

She slowly opened her eyes, blinking when she took in the still unfamiliar surroundings. She hadn't even realized that she had dozed off.

"Sorry," she said and tried to stifle a yawn.

"Don't worry, love. I only woke you, because David and Mary Margaret want to leave and I thought you wanted to say goodbye."

She thanked him and stood up from the sofa to hug her brother goodbye. This time she wasn't surprised, when Mary Margaret hugged her as well, telling her that they should meet again soon.

Once she and Killian were finally alone, she turned toward him with a tired smile.

"Is it mean that I'm glad they're gone?" she asked Killian.

He laughed and stepped closer. "Well, it's been a long and busy day. I think we deserve some alone time."

Her smile widened. "I really like the sound of that."

He leaned down to kiss her and unlike the other times that day it wasn't just a quick peck on the lips or a stolen moment when it seemed like no one else was watching. She felt one hand at the small of her back, while the other was in her hair. Her hands were wandering over his chest.

They only interrupted the kiss, when she couldn't hold back another yawn.

"I think you should go to bed."

"And what about you?" She didn't like to start the first night in their new home without him by her side.

He smiled. "I'll just clean up and join you in a few minutes."

"I think I'll help you, then we're done faster," Emma told him.

"Alright then, let's get this over with and then go sleep in our bed." He kissed the corner of her lips.

"I really like the sound of that. _Our_ bed. _Our_ home," she told him with a smile.

"So do I," he told her and after another short kiss they started cleaning up.

 **Hello everyone,**

 **I'm usually not someone to talk much outside the contents of the fic. But I could use some help deciding on a name for the baby.** **I always have trouble deciding what's best, because I want a name to be perfect. So here's my current shortlist for names, but if you have other suggestions let me know:**

 **clara**

 **molly**

 **hannah**

 **eliza**

 **amelia/emilia**

 **elena/helena**

 **Thanks for any help you can offer.**


	9. New Life

**Today**

It had been several weeks since their move into the new apartment and Killian had enjoyed working with the woman he loved on turning it into their home. It was different than having her moving into his place where everything had already been set, even though he had told her right from the start that they could move things around and throw stuff out if she didn't like it. Now it was their new start and even though they had a few discussions about where some items fit best or whether they fit at all into their apartment, they both seemed happy with how things had turned out.

Their focus had been on the nursery, of course, even though Emma had changed her mind about what color she wanted it to be repeatedly. A pale yellow had been the winner in the end, making the small room look bright and cheerful, and Killian saw the little smile whenever Emma set a foot inside it, telling him that it had been the right choice.

When Killian arrived at home after work, he found Emma sitting on the sofa, apparently completely focused on the book she was reading. He could hear the rummaging in the kitchen, where Ruth was preparing dinner.

Emma's mother had taken up residence in the spare bedroom, that had originally been intended to be his, once they had only been two days away from Emma's due date. It was meant as a precaution in case he was at work when she went into labor. Neither they nor her mother liked the idea of Emma being alone when it started. Not to mention Ruth's simple statement that she sure as hell wouldn't miss the birth of her first grandchild. The first night of Ruth's stay Killian had seriously considered sleeping on the sofa, since he hadn't wanted things to be awkward between them. Despite the lie they had told her family, sleeping under the same roof as Ruth made him feel like a teenager again and it seemed too strange to share a bed with Emma when her mother was sleeping down the hall. But when it was time to go to bed, Emma had simply taken his hand after saying goodnight to Ruth and steered him toward their bedroom.

That had been a week ago and their little princess was still taking her time to make her great entrance into this world. Emma's due date had come and gone and with every passing day she seemed more annoyed and more uncomfortable. Ruth had assured her that it wasn't unusual for a baby to arrive after the due date and Killian was doing his best to help her relax and make her feel better, but Emma's mood didn't improve.

Killian walked toward her and, when Emma lowered her book at his approach, leaned down to kiss her. "Hello, my love," he said, cupping her cheek with his hand and trying to smooth out the lines on her forehead with his thumb. "Is she still giving you a hard time?"

Her answering look would have made him laugh if Emma wasn't feeling so miserable.

He kissed her once more, before straightening up again. "I'm just gonna go and see if I can help your mom."

"Alright," Emma said and returned to her book.

When he approached Ruth, the older woman smiled at him before telling him to get the table ready.

They spent the evening watching some TV and talking, although Emma left most of the talking to her mother and him. Once or twice, when Killian glanced at her, she had her eyes closed and he thought that she had fallen asleep. But then she opened her eyes again and snuggled closer against him.

Ruth was the first to go to bed, wishing them a good night before leaving them.

"So… you have any ideas how we can bribe her to finally get out?" Emma asked him quietly.

Killian laughed. "Unfortunately not," he told her and moved his hand to stroke over her belly. "Believe me, if I knew any way to make you feel less uncomfortable I wouldn't hesitate to do it."

Emma sighed. "I know."

They continued watching TV a little longer, but when Emma started dozing off for real, Killian convinced her that they should head to bed as well.

 **11 years ago**

Killian was walking around the new neighborhood he and his mother had moved into, trying to familiarize himself with the area that seemed so different from the city he had lived the first ten years of his life. He wasn't sure how he felt about this change, even though he understood that it was necessary for his mother's new job.

He hated that the move meant saying goodbye to his friends, even though they promised to stay in touch. It just wouldn't be the same compared to seeing them every day.

But he wouldn't hold it against his mom, who was doing her best to make life for them as good as possible on her own. His memories of his father were hazy at best, after he had walked out of their lives when Killian was just two years old, never to be seen or heard of again.

He was so lost in his thoughts, that he only noticed the blonde girl, when she ran into him. They both stumbled backwards and she would have fallen if Killian hadn't reached out to grab her arm and keep her steady.

She looked at him with big green eyes and Killian was just about to apologize for not paying attention to where he was walking, when he heard a voice shout: "Emma!"

She looked over her shoulder and Killian followed her gaze, seeing someone running down the street in their direction.

"You didn't see me!" she told him and then she disappeared around the corner.

Killian was still standing in the same spot, when a blonde boy stopped in front of him, trying to catch his breath.

"Have you seen my sister?" he asked, a ridiculously stern expression on his face.

Trying not to glance to where she had disappeared, he shook his head and said: "I didn't see anyone."

The boy looked at him for a moment, apparently trying to decide whether he believed him or not. It seemed as if Killian had been convincing enough, because the boy shrugged and then asked: "You're the new kid, right? I've seen you in school yesterday."

Killian grimaced, hating being called that. "I'm Killian."

"David Nolan. My mom, my sister and I live just down the street." He pointed somewhere behind himself. "You can come over if you want to hang out with someone. And if you need help getting around in school, just let me know."

"Thanks," Killian said, not sure what to think of that offer.

"Well, I've got to search for my sister. I guess I'll see you around school."

Killian only managed to get out a 'sure' before David ran off in search of his sister.

The moment he was out of sight, Killian said: "You can come out, Emma."

A moment later she joined him again. "How did you know I was still there?"

Killian shrugged. "I just did." He lifted a hand and picked a leaf from her hair that must have gotten caught there when she was hiding in the shrubs. "So, why are you hiding from your brother?"

"Because he's an idiot."

He laughed. "I heard brothers can be like that."

For a moment he thought she was about to smile, but then the serious expression was back in place. "He thinks he can tell me what to do because he's older and thinks he's smarter."

"Well, I think he's got that last bit wrong."

This time she actually did smile and Killian couldn't help but return her smile.

The smile on her face disappeared quickly though. "I better go back home before my mom comes back from the store. But, as David said, you can come over whenever you want. He might like some help getting the progress on his video games back that got accidentally deleted."

Killian laughed. "So that's why he's been yelling?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," she replied and grinned. "Bye, Killian."

"I'll see you soon, Emma," he promised and watched her run off, the blonde hair flying in the wind.

Maybe it wouldn't be too difficult to make new friends after all.

 **Today**

He woke, when he felt a hand gripping his tightly.

"Killian?"

It was the hint of fear in her voice that made him sit up right away.

"What's wrong?"

"I think she's coming," Emma said and looked at him. Even in the darkness of their bedroom he could see the panicked look in her eyes.

"Alright… ok… I think…" Killian stopped himself from rambling on, taking a deep breath to calm down. He couldn't freak out now when Emma needed him. But somehow everything they had planned for this situation had vanished from his mind. "I'm gonna go and wake your mom," he finally decided. Having another person helping and knowing what they should expect seemed just right to him.

But just when he was about to get up, Emma's grip on his hand tightened even more as another contraction hit her.

Killian stayed right where he was, trying to help her through the pain while at the same time attempting to pay attention to how long it lasts.

Once her grip loosened again, he kissed her temple, stroking her hair back, before climbing out of bed to wake Ruth.

Emma's mother dressed quickly before joining them. She sat down next to Emma, calmly asking her questions, while Killian was standing around, unsure what to do. Another contraction started and Killian was right at Emma's side in a second, thinking he saw a tiny smile on Ruth's face.

Once it was over, Ruth said: "You probably should get dressed, I'll go and get the car." Without waiting for their reply, she grabbed the bag they had packed a few weeks ago for this situation and left the bedroom.

When her mother had left the room, Emma looked at Killian and she didn't have to say a word for him to know that she was scared.

With a gentle smile he stroked her hair back, assuring her that he was going to be right there with her before placing a soft kiss on her lips. "Let's get ready to meet our baby girl," he said before getting up to search for some clothes.

Even though their daughter had suddenly seemed in a rush to join them when they were back home, once they had reached the hospital and the doctor had examined Emma, he told them that it might take a little longer before they could finally welcome their little girl. They settled into their room, Ruth trying her best to distract both her daughter and Killian. But whenever another wave of pain hit Emma, Killian forgot everything else.

It was already early morning, when the doctor finally said that it was time. Ruth kissed her daughter's forehead before going out to inform David that he was about to be an uncle.

Killian stayed right at Emma's side, only letting go of her hand when it was absolutely necessary and taking it once more the moment he could. He was whispering encouragements, brushing her hair out of her face with his fingertips and kissing the crown of her head.

He was amazed by the strength she was showing, but not surprised. He had always known that she was one of the strongest persons he knew. And she was just proving that once again.

The moment they heard their daughter's cry, Emma leaned back, her eyes closed to hold back tears. Killian pressed a kiss to her lips, unable to put his feelings into words right then. Once the doctor had finished examining her, they finally allowed Emma to hold their daughter and the moment she was in her arms the tears were allowed to flow freely.

 **5 weeks ago – Emma**

Emma woke to the sound of Killian quietly talking to the baby inside her and kept her eyes shut, just listening to him as he told a story. It had become a habit for him during the past weeks and she just loved listening to him. And by the way she felt how her daughter reacted whenever Killian talked to her, Emma was certain that she loved it too.

"I know you're awake, love," Killian said and pressed a kiss to her belly.

"I didn't want to disturb your conversation," she replied with a smile when Killian sat up and leaned toward her to catch her lips in a kiss.

"You could never disturb us."

"You say that now, but I can already picture the two of you teaming up on me," Emma told him.

He chuckled and kissed her again, his lips lingering on hers a little longer than before. "I promise that I will _try_ to not completely spoil her. But I can't predict how successful I'll be with that if she's even half as irresistible as her mother."

Before Emma could form a reply, he was kissing her again and this time it was more than just a peck on the lips. Her hand moved to the back of his neck, her fingers playing with his hair while his tongue brushed over her bottom lip, asking for entrance.

It had been almost two months, since he and Milah broke up. Almost two months since they had finally admitted that it was more than simple friendship between them. And she still hadn't got used to finally be able to kiss him whenever she liked, although she certainly did take advantage of that. But so did Killian.

Emma only interrupted the kiss, when another need was taking over and she excused herself to use the bathroom. When she reemerged Killian was already busy in the kitchen, preparing breakfast.

It was later that day when they once again approached the subject of finding a name for the baby. Ever since they had settled into their new apartment they had tried to come up with something suitable for their little girl, but it seemed almost impossible. There were quite a few names that were dismissed directly because she associated them with girls from school she didn't like. Others were too old-fashioned or too modern for their taste.

Emma leaned back against the cushions, staring at the ceiling in frustration. "Maybe we should just number them. She's One, the next Two…"

"The next?" Killian asked, a hint of amusement in his voice and Emma felt the heat rise to her cheeks. "Are you already planning ahead?"

For a moment Emma struggled to find the words to answer him. As close as their relationship had grown in the past weeks, one essential part of making a baby hadn't happened yet. It wasn't for lack of attraction because Emma certainly wasn't blind and had thought of the possibility of having sex with Killian quite a few times in the last couple of years. And ever since they had crossed the line between friendship and romance Killian had shown her that he wanted her like that as well. What was holding them back was Emma not wanting to be so very pregnant, when they finally did have sex for the first time. She wanted to feel comfortable and be able to enjoy it.

"I mean hypothetically… If we ever want… In some _very_ distant future…" She knew she was babbling and forced herself to stop, closing her eyes to not see his reaction.

She only opened them again, when she felt Killian's hand cupping her cheek, gently making her look at him. "I kind of like the idea. But I'm sure that we'll come up with better names than One and Two." He paused, suddenly seeming insecure. "I want to make a suggestion, but I want you to know that either way I'm ok with what you decide."

Emma tensed, nervous about what he was going to say. "Alright."

"I know she's not my flesh and blood, but I want there to be no doubt about whether I regard her as my child. So while we still can't decide on her first name, may I propose a last name?"

Emma was staring at him, trying to hold back her smile a little longer to clarify that she understood him correctly. "Are you serious?"

He nodded. "I could understand it if you want to stick with Nolan. But yes, I am serious. You and this little one are my family. It only seems fitting to share a name."

Emma decided the implication behind his words regarding herself, for now. It was far too early for that in their relationship. But that he wanted her daughter – _their_ daughter – to share his name and make it obvious even for strangers that they were a family, meant a lot to Emma.

Instead of replying him with words, she reached up and pulled him toward her and when their lips met, she put everything into it to make certain he understood her answer.

 **Today**

Killian found it almost impossible to take his eyes off the little girl in his arms. During all the times he had imagined this moment in the past weeks and months, he hadn't been able to come anywhere near to how it really felt.

He had known that he would love this baby, because she was a part of Emma and there simply was no way he could not love her. But this little girl had managed to grab a hold of his heart in a way that only one other person had.

"You look good with a baby in your arms," Emma said quietly and when Killian managed to look away from the one love of his life long enough to look at the other, there was a little smile on her lips.

"Are you trying to tell me I don't look good without one?" he asked her teasingly and returned her smile, earning himself a simple "Idiot" from Emma.

"Yeah, but you love me anyway," he stated, his eyes on her face, and Emma didn't have to say anything for him to know that he was right. It was written in every look and every smile she was giving him.

A knock on the door interrupted their little moment and after Emma told their visitor to come in, Ruth, David and Mary Margaret joined them.

"Permission to meet my granddaughter?" Ruth asked and after Emma nodded she quickly closed the distance to Killian, who got up from his chair to offer it to Ruth after letting her take the baby from him. While she and Mary Margaret were swooning over the little girl, David was keeping a little distance, but even he couldn't hide that meeting his little niece had quite the impact on him and his eyes kept wandering from his niece to Mary Margaret. Killian walked around the bed and sat down on the edge of the mattress, Emma immediately moving closer to lean against him. His arm moved around her shoulders and she reached up to take his hand.

"What's her name?" Mary Margaret finally asked and Killian gently squeezed Emma's hand to tell her to go ahead.

"Her name is Clara Emilia Jones," Emma told them and Killian pressed his lips to the crown of her head.

Ruth looked from her daughter to Killian before returning her gaze to her granddaughter. "Clara," she said, her finger stroking over the little cheek. "I like it."

The others left, when Emma started to doze off, the exhaustion of an almost sleepless night and childbirth finally catching up with her. Killian felt tired as well, but even though a nurse had stopped by earlier to take Clara away for a while, he couldn't bring himself to go home just yet.

He looked at the woman who had been such an important part of his life for the last eleven years and all he could think was that he had been fooling himself for too long. She had kept a hold on his heart ever since the moment she had first run into him, when he was just ten years old and the new kid around. And that part would always belong to her.

 **Thanks to the lovely persons who left name suggestions, it was a great help :-)**

 **I'm sorry it took me so long to finish this, but I got stuck and was unhappy with what I wrote for a long time. I hope that the final result isn't too disappointing.**


	10. Epilogue

**5 years later**

Killian woke to the feeling of lips being pressed to his chest, soft hair brushing against his skin. Keeping his eyes closed, he let his hand wander until he felt the bare skin of Emma's thighs under his fingertips.

"How long do we have?" he asked her quietly, his hand moving up and underneath the shirt she was wearing to bed.

"Probably not long enough," Emma answered and lifted her head to catch his lips in a kiss.

She was about to pull away to get up, when Killian tightened his hold on her and turned them over so that he was lying above her. "Good morning," he told her and leaned down for another kiss.

"Morning," she said and smiled up at him.

Killian lifted a hand and brushed a strand of hair out of her face, before kissing her once more, gratefully accepting when Emma's lips parted to welcome his tongue. Emma's hand moved to the back of his head, pulling him even closer, her other hand wandering down his back and he couldn't care less that they were on the verge of getting carried away, when Emma's legs spread wider for him.

"Daddy? Are you sleeping?"

Their daughter's voice made them interrupt their kiss. "Definitely not enough time," he murmured, resting his forehead against Emma's for a moment before rolling onto his back.

"We're awake," Emma called out and even while she spoke the door opened and Clara practically ran inside to climb into their bed.

"Morning, mommy," she said and let Emma kiss her cheek, before her attention shifted to Killian. "Morning, daddy," she said before pressing a wet kiss to his cheek.

"Good morning, little love," he told her with a smile.

Clara lay down next to him, snuggling close and Killian tried to ignore the knowing look Emma gave him before she got up.

"Daddy?"

He turned his head to look at his little princess, meeting her big green eyes that looked so much like Emma's and he already knew that she would probably get whatever she wanted.

"Yes?"

"Can you make pancakes for breakfast?"

"I think mommy wanted to make breakfast this weekend."

Clara looked over her shoulder at Emma, before leaning down toward his ear, whispering loud enough for both him and Emma to hear: "Yours are better."

"I heard that," Emma answered, but she only smiled at them. "Go on, daddy, make breakfast. I'll make sure this one is dressed and ready to be picked up when her grandma arrives."

The moment Emma mentioned Ruth, Clara smiled brightly and hurried to get up, taking Emma's hand and practically pulling her with her toward her room.

Killian looked after them for a moment, feeling like he's the luckiest man on earth to have these two girls in his life.

It was two hours later, when Ruth left with Clara. The little girl was excited to spend the night at her grandmother's house and she had barely been able to sit still while eating breakfast.

And it wasn't long after they were gone, when he found himself back in bed with Emma, picking up where they had stopped earlier. This time without interruptions.

They spent the better part of the day in bed, taking full advantage of their time alone and it was during a moment of just holding each other, when Killian noticed Emma playing with the engagement ring on her finger that he had given her just six weeks earlier.

"Are you having second thoughts?" he asked her quietly.

Emma looked up at him with a smile. "Don't be ridiculous. In case you haven't noticed, I kind of like having you around and have no intention of letting you go," she told him in a teasing tone.

"Oh you just 'kind of like' me being here?" he answered, pretending to be hurt.

If there was only one thing he was certain about, it would be Emma's love for him. When he had proposed, she had barely let him finish speaking before her lips were on his saying _Yes_ again and again between kisses.

"Yeah… Kind of," she told him and then pressed a gentle kiss to his lips, before resting her head on his shoulder. "Maybe we should just go ahead and get married. I don't need it to be a big event. Just having you and Clara there would be enough."

"Your mom would kill me," he chuckled.

Emma laughed too. "Ok, we don't want that to happen. She can come as well." Then she got serious again. "But I mean it. I don't need anything fancy, I just need you and our daughter. I'm sure we could organize something in a few weeks."

"Why a few weeks?" he asked her confused.

"I want us to be the center of attention and I believe that if we wait a few more months, that's not gonna be the case."

"Why?" Killian asked again, although he was beginning to suspect something.

"You remember how we celebrated the engagement?"

He nodded, a smile tugging at his lips. "It was kind of like this," he said, his fingers stroking over her bare back.

"It was very much like this," she answered with a smile and reached for his hand, moving it to her flat stomach. "I went to see the doctor a few days ago, because I wanted to be sure."

"You're pregnant?" Killian asked, unable to hide his smile when Emma nodded and he took her face between his palms to kiss her. "I love you."

"I love you," she told him.

Killian turned them around so that Emma was lying on her back and he moved down to press a kiss to her stomach, feeling happier than he had ever thought possible.


End file.
